It has been awhile since I put something up and it is not because I forgot. Well sometimes it is… But It is me trying to figure out what is happening.
Truly the last month or so have been the hardest for me as a mission volunteer. When my mind really thinks of why I am in this program. Let’s say I haven’t lived up to the standard of what I think an MV is….
But one of the MV I gotten to talk to really up lifted me and it is something she said to me. I can always look back at to really get out the gloomy moods I have been in….
She said this to me.
Someone once told me this, and I feel like it might help you too… “When we’re at the top, we can’t help but be in awe at everything that surrounds us… (like when you’re standing on top of the highest mountain, you can’t help but look down at the beauty that surrounds you), but it’s when you’re at the bottom when you’re even more blessed because you can no longer look down; all you can do is look to the heavens and look to God.”
Living as a fulltime pastoral worker calls for a different kind of openness and humility. No matter how long or how familiar is the task, it is still important to listen to other people especially our heads in the way we spend our time.
2 weeks ago a leader reminded me of my priorities when he learned about the other trips that I am supposed to do. He said that I might be overwhelmed with the load given that I am also preparing for the HOLD Conference. I interpreted that as them telling me that I am not being responsible enough in handling my priorities and that I was not thinking properly in my decisions.
However, after few days I realized that as a fulltime worker I cannot say that I decide how I will spend my time in service. Looking deeply at it, it boils down to the anointing of the community. I applied to be a fulltime worker of CFC because I believe that the Lord anointed this community to facilitate my calling as a missionary. This is not just towards the organization but to the leaders as well – it is the same anointing. Obedience then to our leaders is fulfilling the anointing of the Lord to our community.
“Lord you hold our hearts and our future, continue to soften out hearts that it will be molded to your call. May we be able to fully submit to your anointing always in the posture of obedience.”
After almost a year’s worth of meetings – some monthly, some weekly, some daily, some were even hourly – and a year’s worth of preparation, physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually; #IgniteTNC2014 is finally done.
When we started planning for the 20th True North Conference, a lot of us Full Time Pastoral Workers (FTPWs) were thinking the same thing, I think we bit off more than we can chew. We were combining two ministries, CFC- Youth and Singles For Christ. Have 2/3 days combined and the other day separate from one another. And because it is the 20th year anniversary for both ministries here in Canada, we wanted to be grand about it.
We wanted sessions that showed the history of God’s faithfulness through the years but at the same time looking forward to the next 20 years and more. We wanted more competitions so everybody can enjoy themselves. We wanted workshops that really equipped the participants to go out into the world and bear the good news that Christ has risen. We wanted a set design that matched the massive celebration that we were planning. For us, it was go big or go home.
For all its worth, in my personal opinion, it went above and beyond that. Yet the whole conference went by so quickly. For those who went, and for those who joined us via livestream would also agree. I arrived in Vancouver on July 1. A significant time before the conference itself, yet now as I’m leaving to go back to Toronto, it feels like it was just yesterday.
I’m still trying to process the whole experience, which is a year’s worth, but here is a reflection on the only picture I took the entire weekend.
When we were still trying to figure out the logo design – it took us forever to finalize one. We wanted a logo that would transcend time but at the same time speak of this significant moment of CFC-Youth and SFC Canada.
This logo came out.
Designed by Canada’s First FTPW, Butch Baria
We were floored by its simplicity and transcending beauty. A heart that was aflame from the love of God. To put it simply, it was perfect.
Of course, turning this into a proper set design would be quite a task. For the most part, I think the Logistics Team hated us for wanting a free standing logo that towered over everything, which lit up and flickered like a flame. But when they were finally able to piece the huge thing together (S/O to Theo, Genesis and Tito Edwin Rigor), it looked amazing.
But the logo stands testament to what everybody has felt (and still feels up to this moment) during the duration of the conference – and for the year-long preparation that it took.
Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us? – Luke 24:32
This scene comes to mind, Luke 24:32. When the disciples suddenly realize that it was Jesus who was resurrected from the dead that they were talking to all along. They thought he was dead with a certain finality. Yet he was more than alive. His presence set their hearts on fire. They knew he was alive because of that experience.
To those of us who have been in the community since the early years up until now, don’t our hearts burn after every worship, after every camp, every household, every CLP, every gathering we have whether it is a fellowship or something as big as a conference. Isn’t that a reminder that Jesus indeed walks with us in all the things we do specially in the community.
While the Ignite True North Conference is done, every moment that our hearts burned for the days that led up to it, during the entirety of the TNC, and the days the after – our hearts are truly ignited and burning for the Lord because He was, is, and forever will be with us.
United as one we will go forth. Ignited to the ends of the Earth. So let the Fire fall.
The biggest mistake that most of us make about God, the one that most consistently undermines our peace of soul is the idea that God demands a lot of us. More than fragile beings like ourselves could ever give.
Such a God is frightening.
God, in reality, is content with the little we can give because God knows and accepts the little that we have.
We need to do just three things:
Do the best we can to find and honour God in everything we do
Do whatever, however little we can to live this way
Let God do the rest
If we follow these simple rules, we will not be disturbed. We will not be anxious. We will have no need to fear a God who never asks of us more than we can give.
– St. Francis de Sales
Through this passage, I have come to realize the danger that lies when we start thinking that in order to please God we have to tire ourselves out. The more things we’re doing at any given point, the more we’re making Him happy. We tend to forget that it’s not the amount of things we busy ourselves with but rather, what satisfies Him the most is when (as the passage says) we wholeheartedly and completely offer the little that we have and let Him transform it into something great for His glory.
* The passage above is taken from a book I’m currently reading called Set Your Heart Free. It contains select passages and texts from St. Francis de Sales’ writings and it encourages readers to find God in all that they do during the day despite the hectic schedule they might have.
It’s a beautiful thing to be in love. To love someone means to always have them in mind. When someone is always on your mind, it’s very hard to do things that you know will hurt them.
Yes, it’s a beautiful thing to be in love, because to be in love is to be in God, to be one with Christ. Although my human nature limits the perfection of my love for Him, it does not limit my desire to uphold my heart to the highest of standards. Love chooses to declare loyalty not through extravagance but with consistency. I have learned that loving Christ means doing all things entrusted to me with great care- especially the seemingly menial things. Loving Christ means choosing to see His presence interlaced in every fibre of my reality within and beyond my mission areas.
“Love is not only an affirmation; it is also a rejection. The mere fact that John loves Mary with his whole heart means that he does not love Ruth with any part of it. Every protestation of love is a limitation of a wrong kind of free love. Love, here, is the curbing of the freedom understood as license, and yet it is the enjoyment of perfect freedom.- for all that one wants in life is to love that person. True love always imposes restrictions on itself- for the sake of others. True love, by its nature is uncompromising; it is the freeing of self from selfishness and egotism. Real love uses freedom to attach itself unchangeably to another. ” -Fulton J. Sheen
“Love God, and then do whatever you please.”
– St. Augustine
Now that I’m being sent to Israel for a 3 month mission trip where there is war, I couldn’t help but only feel naive when I think of my emotions behind it… I carry no fear about it whatsoever, and no matter how many times I contemplate it or try to force myself to feel some kind of fear, I can’t. For the past few days, I’ve been feeling afraid because the fear hasn’t kicked in. But when I finally arrived home last night from our family vacation, I sat on my bed to just breathe and relax. I looked at my guitar, picked it up and began to play. Without any thought, the first song my fingers began to strum was this…
I will come to you in the silence I will lift you from all your fear You will hear My voice I claim you as My choice Be still, and know I am near
I am hope for all who are hopeless I am eyes for all who long to see In the shadows of the night, I will be your light Come and rest in Me
Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine
I am strength for all the despairing Healing for the ones who dwell in shame All the blind will see, the lame will all run free And all will know My name
Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine
I am the Word that leads all to freedom I am the peace the world cannot give I will call your name, embracing all your pain Stand up, now, walk, and live
Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine
Some may remember this song; some may not. But for me, this is a fond memory because it is something that I’ve remembered since I was young. It began as a frequent Church song, and later became a song I needed to remember for children’s choir at the parish. Then when I joined YFC, it was a frequent song used at our Parish Based Choir, and as years went by, I had forgotten it until now.
In the beginning of the year, I suddenly remembered this song, and couldn’t help but learn it on a new instrument, self taught on a guitar… And it is only now that I realized that what served as only a mere memory in my life was meant to be my mission song.
And that’s when I realized, there really is no such thing as a coincidence. Before my head could comprehend anything, my heart already knew its place… with God… and that’s why I wasn’t feeling any fear. No matter what happens, I am at a true place of peace because beyond what the human mind can comprehend, I am already in the safest place I know – in my Father’s hands. And I’ve come to understand that this isn’t me being naive or illogical, but it is me, finally knowing faith and what it means to trust and know He Who IS Love 🙂
I will come to you in the silence I will lift you from all your fear You will hear My voice I claim you as My choice Be still, and know I am near
Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine
This morning my mother called me downstairs. Our neighbour was in need of some assistance. His van battery was dead and needed a jump start.
Sounds simple enough but the ‘journey’ to get there was not as simple.
As I approached his house I saw that his van was in his garage and he was saying that it has been a while since they took out the van. At first I was trying to put his van into neutral so that we could push it out, but for some reason it was not working.
I ended up getting a battery charger from my garage to give it some power. We were able to get it into neutral and pushing the car was a little difficult because of how heavy the van was. There was a point where the van almost went into the middle of the street because my neighbour almost did not jump back into the van on time.
Eventually we were able to get the van to the end of the driveway but yet the van would not turn on. So I drove my car over and attached jumper cables and his van finally started.
Where am I going with this story?
I started reflecting on what jumper cables do for a car and what we are without that charge from God.
When we are not putting to use the things God has given us, like our talents or even our time, we really are just wasting them and letting them rot to the point where they become “useless”. It is in those moments of desperation when we really need something but then it becomes unavailable because we left it alone for so long.
But our God is a generous God. Sometimes all it takes is a prayer and humility to say “I need help,” or in this case a knock on a neighbours door. Sometimes with that knock we still have to work for the help, but it is the ‘journey’ in which you and the Lord take together. Eventually you will feel that ‘jolt’ of power from God that you and I need to live throughout the day.
For me, I consider the Eucharist as the ‘jolt’ I need to get through the day. A friend shared with me this quote from St. Francis de Sales in a book he/she was reading.
“Those who have little to do must receive Communion often, since it is not inconvenient for them; the same goes for those who have much to do, since then they have more need of it.”
God is there, he is just waiting for you.
What better way to ‘jolt’ your day than to have Jesus within you.
